In some jurisdictions it is actually law that you must seek counseling prior to a divorce. This may seem to be an extreme requirement, especially in situations where infidelity or abuse may be factors in the decision to separate. However, pre-separation counseling can be effective, even in these situations.

Antony Dynes states in his book, The Law and Economics of Marriage and Divorce, that “A period of prescribed psychological counseling before a divorce petition can be filed may assist the couple to examine the stresses that have undermined the stability of the marriage”[1].

In addition, Dynes goes on to say that the aggrieved spouse may reexamine their feelings during this time and find them to be transitory rather than settled. While it is not always better to stay together, Dynes believes that counseling can be effective even when the parties involved do not.

Consider the one-time cost of a divorce and the ongoing costs of living separately. This alone makes counseling sessions economically worth the effort. Some insurance plans may even cover a limited amount of sessions. Most counselors will be able to tell you within a short period of time if they believe that you should consider separation or further counseling – they are very experienced in these matters and have a keen eye for relationships that can and can’t work.

It isn’t law in Ontario that couples must seek pre-separation counseling. According to the experts, it is advisable in cases where the spouses can agree to sit down in the same room and talk together about their issues. Some couples counselors even say that a crisis can draw a couple closer together in the long term, as unbelievable as that sounds.

[1]
p. 50, The Law and Economics of Marriage and Divorce, Antony W. Dynes, Cambridge University Press